Holding Boundaries with Parents: Love, Healing, and Tarot Insights

I've learned something most people don't talk about: cutting off your parents isn't simple. People make it look easy on the surface. Like you just decide one day to stop talking to them, and life magically feels lighter. But the truth? It's not that simple.

For me, boundaries with my parents have always been complicated. I've spent my whole childhood and most of my adult life on the back burner. I made it clear early on that I had my own mind, my own ways of entertaining myself, my own needs. But time and time again, they were deprioritized.

When I was 14, my dad told me he and I were going home to Nevada with my grandparents. I was happy. I smiled. That happiness apparently wasn't allowed, because soon after, I was left behind while he went back to my stepmother. Later, at 17, I ended up in the hospital with seizures. My parents didn't come see me. They barely signed temporary guardianship over to my grandparents so CPS wouldn't get involved. And when I needed something as small as a Utah address to secure a scholarship, they refused. These weren't accidents or forgetfulness. They were patterns. I was always on the back burner.

As an adult, that pattern became painfully clear. And now, as a parent myself, I refuse to put my children in the same situation. I can love and miss my parents, but that doesn't mean I open the door to neglect or disrespect. Access to me and my children comes with accountability. That's non-negotiable.

Here's where my tarot reading recently helped me check in with myself. My energy while holding these boundaries came through as the page of swords, with the two of swords reversed, the seven of swords reversed, and The Emperor at the foundation.

Page of swords reminded me that this was a time of observation and clarity. I wasn't reacting impulsively; I was watching, noticing patterns, and learning how people behaved when boundaries were enforced.

Two of swords reversed showed me that the blindfold was coming off. I was seeing reality for what it is. No illusions, no excuses, no pretending.

Seven of swords reversed confirmed that truth was emerging. I wasn't paricipating in any manipulation or hiding the reality of the family dynamic anymore.

The Emperor anchored me. My calm, firm, and consistent energy was the foundation. I wasn't being cold or punitive; I was being clear, protective, and sovereign.

When my family cried, part of me felt the pull. The urge to soften or justify. But the calm, steady part of me, backed by this awareness and authority, held the boundary anyway. The feeling of discomfort didn't mean I was doing something wrong. It meant I was shifting the system.

Real healing doesn't come from pretending everything is fine or "growing thicker skin." It comes from holding the line, missing and loving your parent, and still protecting yourself and your children. That tension. The crying, the pressure, the guilt...is normal. It's proof that change is happening.

Boundaries aren't punishment. They're protection. And protecting your peace, your mental and emotional safety, and your children, is one of the most loving things you can do. Not just for them, but for yourself.

A closing thought for anyone reading this:

If you're struggling with boundaries, know this: it's normal to feel unsure, shaky, or even guilty at first. That doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. The measure of a boundary isn't how smooth or calm it feels. It's whether you hold it despite the discomfort. The act of standing firm, even when it's hard, is what creates real change.